The road not taken

由孩子欺负人所想到的

The road not taken — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 14:00:39 +0800

婆婆带着儿子在小区里玩, 回来告诉我儿子又欺负人了,骑着小三轮撞到那个叫明明的小男孩, 他奶奶把脸一板,说:我们小孩养这么大不容易啊! 我婆婆答道:你跟小孩计较什么? 他还小勒!还不懂事勒! 对方马上指责道:不懂大人要教育的呀!这小区里谁没被你们小孩打过啊? 我要找他的妈妈！我婆婆立即反驳: 教育么,也要慢慢来的呀。婆婆向我叙述着，一脸的不服。我的儿子的确非常的调皮，有时候也喜欢动手打人，但是经教育劝阻一般都很快改正，他是一个非常活跃、体力过旺并且善于思考的孩子，他知道奶奶比较顺着他，所以在奶奶带他的时候她就表现得比较放肆，被撞的那一方的确有生气的理由，但是再生气也不应该给一个孩子扣帽子,更不应该说一些不负责任的话, 我们孩子远没有到他说的那个地步。太过保护自己的孩子唯恐自己孩子受一点点伤或委屈的心理，是否能教育得好孩子，我表示充分的怀疑。那些大人就像一个个牢牢的保护伞，外人休想侵犯到他孩子一丝一毫，哪怕是孩子间善意的玩耍，在她们眼里都扣上一顶顶的大帽子，我的孩子在他们的眼里就成了很凶很会打人的孩子。当孩子们在一起玩发生冲突时，那些大人立刻出来“伸张正义”，指责别人的孩子，丝毫不给自己或对方小孩一个解释的机会，小孩在一旁看着，久而久之，他学会了这种与别人交往的“相处之道”，不管发生什么，先指责对方就对了，自己没有什么好反省的，总是别人的错。

其实这样过分保护自己孩子的家长绝对不仅仅存在于老人中，年轻的家长也大有人在，而且绝对不在少数。家长为了保护自己的孩子，不准孩子奔跑、不准孩子和其他孩子疯、不让孩子做新的尝试，不准这个不准那个，更不用说带孩子远距离的郊游或者坐飞机出去旅游，他们总有这样或那样的理由不让孩子和他们自己那样玩得尽兴。而这些事情我都让他做了，并且在别人欺负他的时候，我不会去帮他，只会私下教他该如何处理，还是让他自己去面对对方孩子或者家长处理问题。如果对方是一位家长指责他，我不会替他承担，他犯的错他要自己承担。有时他会理直气壮地且不知所云地严厉回敬对方家长，因而招来更严厉的斥责，我不会以大人的身份为自己的孩子辩解与对方抗衡（尽管很多时候我有足够的理由这么做）。我要让他知道当他欺负别人的时候，会有怎样的连锁反应，我想别人的不友好会对他有所触动，他知道这是他不喜欢的，以后自然就会克制住不去打人家了。的确，他慢慢学会了动口不动手。不过今天的事件一方面可能是奶奶在旁的缘故，另一方面还是要不断强化对他的教育并要给他一些教训，他才会彻底的记住不能欺负人。就像西方的一句谚语：If you fight fire with fire, you will only get burnt. 教育是需要一个漫长的过程和持之以恒的精神的，我还是会一如既往地让他从实际的事件中吸取教训，让他自己得出结论不应该欺负别人，因为欺负别人也会伤害到自己，自己若有不满、或要泄愤一定要采取合适的方式。我想这个道理在很多从小家庭教育缺失或者有偏差的成人中也是需要重新学习的。

在家办公

The road not taken — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:46:08 +0800

很多事情,自己想象得和实际情况往往相距甚远。在家办公就是其中之一，以前和很多人一样，认为在家办公多好啊，不用挤交通，时间自由，还可以照顾家里。而事实是，同事和老板分散在各地，沟通成了很大的问题，有时邮件有延误，电话又不方便接，而我又急于等待老板的确认或答复才能继续另一件事，最后短消息成了最快速的沟通方式，然而很多事千头万绪，发短信根本解决不了问题，又不是情人之间发短信，可以来来回回没完没了的，和老板发消息，要试图简明扼要又全面尽量一次把话说清楚、想周全，其背负的压力还不如坐地铁到公司去和老板面对面谈。而且，在家办公，除了花大量时间在繁琐而冗长的沟通上外，还是要花很多精力在做事情本身的，这样下来工作量比原来在公司上班多了50%，哪里还有时间照顾家里啊? 我把儿子全天托在婆婆家，自己连烧午饭和晚饭的时间都没有，今天的午饭还是1点30分才吃到的。

今天可以说是我在家上班以来最忙碌的日子，一方面上周五刚和两位老板碰头开会，布置了一些任务，另一方面，办公室的装修正式开始启动了，方方面面都需要监督、跟踪、落实。中间又隔了一个周末，料到早上老板会找我。果然，早上10点，老板打来电话询问昨天的邮件是否收到，当时我在银行里，其实他的邮件我早已回复，但由于我们用的都是自己的私人邮箱，经常出现延误，他说他没有收到，我只能粗略的在电话里回答他，有一个百分比应该是44%，我凭记忆说了40%，后来回家查了才发现自己说错了，我想他应该注意到了，肯定心里对我打了问号。而后，他问我是不是在地铁里，我说我在银行里，他客气地答道：“那你忙吧，我稍候再找你。”我想如果我是老板，肯定会不开心，还好该死的银行排了一个小时的队总算轮到我了，于是匆匆办完事赶回家，幸好他第二次电话打来，我已在家，他问我办公室营运项目的预算，让我提供数据给他。我吸取了以前的教训，非常认真地对待每个栏目，还把以前公司的报表打开，一一分析，最后给出了一个自认为比较全面、相对客观的预算，发完邮件，我特地发了短消息提醒他。4小时之后，他给我电话问：“午餐饭贴为什么只有150元？”我当时还没意识到有什么问题，在他提醒下，才意识到自己居然没有乘上工作日，我给他的是一天的午餐预算而不是一个月的，天哪？多么低级的错误！其实这也反映出自己太没有数字概念了，看来要在这方面好好补补课，不能再出洋相了。

今天的事一定要铭记在心，虽然是一桩很小的事情，相信整天与上亿资金打交道的老板们根本不会放在心上，但是如果小处不改正，日积月累就会造成大错，到那时候改也为时已晚了。在我现在这样的年纪，已经失去了当初的良好记忆和充沛的精力，有的只是经历失败后的经验教训和人生、职场的阅历，因而形成了我极其敏感而准确的第六感以及揣摩老板心思的超强的能力，我很清楚，我怎样的表现会得到老板的欣赏，怎样的言行会遭到老板得质疑，我今天小小的疏忽绝对会在老板心中原先还不错的印象中减去几分，接下来我所能做的就是利用勤奋和仔细来杜绝一切减分现象,毕竟勤能补拙, 不能在自以为是,自命清高了,还是脚踏实地的走,才走得稳.

继续我的西点生活

The road not taken — Sat, 2 Aug 2008 23:33:48 +0800

得知自己通过了初级西式面点师的理论和技能考试,心里甚是高兴, 因为对于这两个考试我并没有针对性的复习,平时的理论课一节也没有上,全凭临考前临时抱佛脚--自己看书理解, 至于技能考试我更是没有很好的准备,只是凭着自己的感觉在规定的2个半小时内如期完成了4个西点的制作,结果做出来的东西还挺像样的.让我颇有成就感,那些平时十分用功的同学作出来的东西也不过是这个样子,而且每次上课实践的时候,我几乎都是第一个完成作品的,我想多少我在这方面还是有一些潜力的，应该继续学下去的。作为一个白领，能在业余时间从事一个蓝领的工作也是不错的，况且一个好的烘焙师还是需要诸多能力的，例如艺术鉴赏的能力、动手的能力、营养学的知识、统筹安排的能力等等，每次做点心的时候，心里都满怀期待，压力也在不知不觉中被释放了出来，真是一件很好的事情，应该继续的。

还未到上班日子就开始上班了

The road not taken — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:01:24 +0800

8月1日上班,昨天就开始忙活起来。先是在徐家汇的茶馆里和两位老板碰头，一来对方想再次确认我是否加入他们公司，二来就开始布置起任务，一、二、三、四... 一共8项任务，回来以后就完成了一项，今天做另一项，明天还要去办公地点办房屋交接，然后装修队进场。公司在起始阶段总是有很多事情要做的，我就暂且把个人利益放在一边吧，先干起来再说。老公说，你可不要犯傻，在那儿用自己的资源拼命做，你要向老板争取手提电脑啊，我说这本来就会配备的东西干嘛要去争取，再说我还没摸清他们什么风格，这么早出牌干什么？老公想想表示赞同。

过去的经验告诉我，与这样的老板共事，不用担心自己白白辛苦，老板心里都有数，一分耕耘绝对会获得一分收获，根本不用担心自己的付出和得到不成正比，不过替老板做事是要讲究策略和方法的，不是光苦干就会有成果的，我现在运用的策略就是利用先入为主的原理，在一开始的时候非常卖力地博得老板的信任和好感，之后的工作只要不出差错就没有什么问题，这也是所谓的先紧后松，可以达到事半功倍的效果。等到过了这段时期后，该争取的东西再一一向老板提出，待摸清老板的风格和喜好，还可以借机提出一些适时的要求，老板一般都会满足的。这样做远远好过现在就急吼吼的提出这样或那样的要求，对于国企出身的具有博士学历的老板可能更为反感吧。

如此冷漠的门卫，如此可爱的儿子

The road not taken — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:04:31 +0800

婆婆刚才电话里告诉我,今天儿子吵着闹着要去科技幼儿园玩,婆婆说幼儿园不让进的,要去你自己跟门卫老伯伯说。于是他跑到门卫面前说：老伯伯，让我进去白相相好伐？门卫说不行，儿子回答道：哪能不来赛呢？我们报名报好嘞！那个门卫真是死板面对如此可爱的三岁还不到的孩子居然还是不松口，说：那等你9月1日开学以后再来吧。

It's fate that makes me go back to work

The road not taken — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:25:23 +0800

Just as I presume that they may choose somebody else, I received a call from my ex-partner that the telling me that the RMB fund is very interested in me and would like to give me an offer. However, the only concern for them is the salary. They can't offer me as much as my last Co, like many other companies. They wonder whether there's flexibility for me on that. The maximum they can offer is the number I got two year ago, which I think is still higher then the other industy for the equivalent positon. The point is the job comes just at the right time, when I've learned my lesson and become to cherish any good job opportunity. They explained that the workload will be much lighter, since they have less people (around 8) there. Moreover, the commute is not nasty, one hour for the round trip totally and all by one subway. The only drawback is the congestion of the subway compartment which I have no way to avoid it each day. Anyway, if people can get over it, I can do it either.

I must work it out this time and never let it go, no matter what kind of justifications I might have in future. Stick it out!

Back from the interview by the RMB fund

The road not taken — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:51:56 +0800

The interview by the RMB fund management Co. recommended by the partner lasted 30 minutes. Like the last two investment companies( which I succeeded in anyway), this time I still get no clue whether they're gonna hire me or not after the interview. People tend to assume that it's much easier to land the job if there's a referral. As a matter of fact, in this field, investment industy, it's just as hard as the others when landing the job. Those big investment shots wouldn't offer you a job in their company just because you are recommended by some of their friends. Maybe it's an advantage, but you couldn't make it if they think you don't fit this job or not competitive enough. Normally, they make this kind of decision very quickly, not like that trading company which separate the interviews into 5 different levels and times. What they did is spending only 30 minutes on this interview and asking all the pertinent questions. Once they got the answers they concerned, they wrapped it up. I think after experiencing the VC firm it's really hard for me to fit into the company of the other industries. I perfer to be in the back office of the fund or VC company rather than the HR manager in a multi-national big company. Wish me good luck! If I fail the opportunity, I will stop looking for a job for a while.

Wait, endless wait...

Just can't wait to extricate myself from this endless wait. This is the last wait. After this, I don't wait for any job anymore. Explore another road for myself. I can takethe one less traveled by, as it said by Robert Frost.

Trust your intuition

The road not taken — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:47:06 +0800

I finally got the feedback from the headhunting company. Just as I anticipated, they decide to hire the other candidate, who is a returnee from Australia. Although I've already foreseen this, I still feel frustrated and a bit depressed when I heard it. Anyway, they offered me another job opportunity in their BU as Assistant HR manager. To be frankly, I much prefer HR to Shanghai branch manager. But I don't like the feeling of being declined. I don't think I will consider this company anymore, although I agreed to accept the position they proposed. The reason I did so is just in case the same thing happen to the position our partner recommanded. Life is full of uncertainty, isn't it? We should wisely approach to those uncertainty, shouldn't we?

the partner's referral

The road not taken — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 22:56:27 +0800

I took the exam for elementary baker today and passed it, I believe. During the exam for practice, I received a message from one of the partners in the former firm. That really cheered me up, better than the pass of the exam. He wrote:

S, one of my friend's fund needs to recruite an office manager, are you interested in it? It's in huaihai Rd.

He's fully aware that I care so much for the commute. I've very grateful to his referral. However, I don't count so much on it. Since the more expectation you put on it, the more disappointing you will receive. Anyway, I hope it will work out in the end. Wish me good luck!

The last interview

The road not taken — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:11:24 +0800

Just be back from the last interview by their big boss, group director, I must say I am sort of confused and depressed. I thought it would be taken in English rather than Chinese. However, it's hongkongnese again. He didn't check my English at all. He just asked me which is my favorite work experience during my past jobs and what's my view on administration. I gave him my answer. He said I am partly right regarding to description of admin manager. Actually as a branch manager, it's not just admin works. It's more like general manager of this branch. You are the platform connecting different units and departments. For the customer, government or even the board members, you are the corporate image of this company. You don't need to do the particular things like the PR dept or finance do, but you should know what they are doing. In short, you should be a generalist in each aspect. At last, he said he's provided with 2 candidates on this position. He will work with A, the old lady who interviewed me for the second round, to decide whom to pick. What he said is quite different from the previous interviewers. They told me it's admin manager, just like office manager. Now the connotation of the position is extended. I need to take more responsibilities, which I don't think I'm ready for it. Actually I doubt whether I am ready for returning to the job market.

I'm totally exhausted, both psychologically and physically. Now I don't care the result anymore. I've been interviewed for tons of times, and never ever that I had one company which asked you to go back and forth for 5 times( including the one in headhunting Co) for one single position. One thing for sure, it's not employee-oriented company. So I don't need to care so much.